First and foremost I wish to make clear the fact that I do not think the Empire jazz night is shite, although I can understand how the title of this post could lead some of you to believe this. This was just my initial reaction. I now understand that my only problem with the Empire jazz night is the fact that it isn't jazz. Far from being a jazz afficianado, I do know that I never heard a note perfect cover of 'Hey Ya' by Outkast in the Aalto jazz cafe in Amsterdam or the B Flat club in Berlin, but I did in the Empire. I did however have a good ol' night there and I don't want to discourage anyone from going...just don't expect much jazz (don't get mad at me Christine!).
That said, there were similar people in all these clubs. People wearing turtle necks and scarves sitting with their eyes closed, heads bobbing maniacally to the beat. To those people in the Empire 'Roxanne' by the Police is as much part of the jazz genre as an improvised vocal drum solo in B Flat. This led me to apply these same ideas to Architecture in Northern Ireland. Being out in the everyday working world is helping me realise a few things about the local profession, and as good old Royal pointed out, not all of them can be blamed on the small minded planners or the troubles, but lets save that discussion for another time and place.
The Empire experience got me thinking about artistic integrity, and in particular, my own artistic integrity (as pretentious and narcissistic as that sounds). I often find myself in a dilemma, stuck between doing what I feel is right and doing what other people feel is right. I feel like I am still not totally contented in my position as an Architect, basically because I have not decided what sort of Architect I want to be. Should I follow the stereotype of an Architect as a suited, slightly smarmy, businessman raking the money in or go with how the University of Ulster taught me, that is the 'barefoot architect.' The artistic designer who goes against the flow to go with their gut, regardless of their popularity.
Either way has it's pitfalls, one leads to arrogance, stupidity and the other leads to struggle and possible pretentiousness. Those who know me will know exactly which one I want to go for, but I struggle to find this path at times. I find myself being eager to please (rather like the jazz musicians in the Empire), the antithesis of the creative route. I find myself trying to please people and fooling myself into believing that this is an affirmation that I am following the route I wish to take. I realise in hindsight, however, that I have been trying to please the wrong people.
...or maybe I am just falling in the pretentious trap...